PSYCHOSOCIAL

 Authoritarian

Growing up with authoritarian parents made it very difficult for me as child because I always felt like I wasn’t able to do lots of things other kids my age did. I wasn’t allowed to go out with friends or hang out with boys, go to sleepover, or was introduced to sports or hobbies that would spark my interest. I was really only taught to do well in school. My mom was a perfectionist so she always wanted us to be well behaved and presentable, so that’s what I did. I spent most of my time as a kid watching tv quietly for hours. The only time I got to see my friends were during school, and everything else we did as a family. As I got older, I would get invited to do things with friends but I was always scared the ask because I knew I’d get scolded for asking and a big fat “no”. I started rebelling against my parents. I started doing the things I wanted to despite what they said and they eventually stopped. I remember feeling so guilty acting like that but convincing myself that I had to because it was the only way they’d let me “grow up”. Now that I’m older, I can see their parenting style slowly shifting to permissive. My younger sister, 15, has definitely gotten away with lots of things that I didn’t when I was her age which is odd to see.

Reference: https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045

Life as an Introvert 

 

Being isolated from such a young age has definitely had an effect on me falling more towards being an introvert on the extrovert and introvert continuum no matter how hard I tried to convince myself I wasn’t. During my teen years, I was always very friendly and social because that’s who I wanted to be. In high school I joined yearbook club, ASB, always went to football games with friends. When I got to college all my friends were joining sororities, clubs, and partying. I tried all these things and although it was fun, I got over it extremely fast. I would always ask myself if there was something wrong with me because everyone was having a great time and I just didn’t seem to enjoy it that much. I realized that it just wasn't for me and that I felt more comfortable when I wasn’t around so many people. I didn’t enjoy the small talk because I felt like it’s a waste of time. I appreciate having meaningful conversations and connections. For the most part, I love how peaceful it is when it’s quiet so I can hear myself think and reflect. I used to feel down about being an introvert, thinking I was missing out on something, but I figured out I’m my happiest this way.